I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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