he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
