once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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