Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize