And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
