Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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