Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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