i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
