Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We need to feng shui this bitch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
