No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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