I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
