Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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