I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Two words: blizzard sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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