I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
