Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
