How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
