i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
