He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize