worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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