he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize