She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
