you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
