Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
