it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
