a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
