ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
