Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Text me some of your sweat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
