But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize