I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
