if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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