He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize