Joe is yelling at the trees again.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
