We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
