are you so shy because you have an std?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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