Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
