i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
