Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
