Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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