when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
