Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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