The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize