I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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