He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
