I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I stole a fireplace last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
