I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
