In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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