do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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