Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
