Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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