It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
