so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
