I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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