Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
