I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
