this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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