@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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