dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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