I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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