ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
