I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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