Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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