You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
