I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
