Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize