how can u be prego again
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
