Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize