If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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