so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
