I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you had me at cake vodka
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
