your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
